Behind every smile is a story

You know that old saying about how you never know what really goes on behind closed doors. That simple sentence explains my life easily. Even though I may smile and laugh theres a story behind my eyes and pain beneath my smile. And even though I could take the time to type out my life story, I'll just explain one terrible recent event.

My dad got in a car crash a few days ago and broke his back. (Side note strangely for the past few days I've been having back pain). They dont know if he'll be able to walk or talk because hes so deep under anesthesia. It honestly didnt register until a few hours ago that there is a possibility that i could loose my father.

Who will walk me down the isle when i get married? Who will babysit my future kids and tell them stupid hilarious stories about monkey hats?

Even though our relationship hasnt been the best over my lifetime, I know I am not ready to loose him or anyone else.

I probably won't be updating for a while, I'm sorry.

Oni.

Boogey men drop marbles?

Yesterday i found out that my dorm building is haunted and that someone was grotesquely murdered there two years ago. The weird part is there were witnesses and a tape recording that was found in the victims large intestines. They found claw marks that looked like a rabbits with an extra toe/finger thing and on the tape they scream the name "the rusty rabbit", along with other things. And on your way through the park you can see a statue of this weird looking rabbit...connection?

Also, people have been reporting hearing childrens voices and the sound of someone dropping marbles. (I think I might of heard the marbles sound but I'm not positive). With all this stuff happening people have been taking things to an extreme, pouring out salt, scared to be alone in their rooms, etc.

Now I am not one to get scared easily, so for me its like you've been living in the dorms for three weeks and all of a sudden people tell you its haunted and you start hearing voices and sounds. Also the RAs (resident advisers) if asked about the ghosts or the death dont like to talk about it. And to me its simple they dont wanna scare their money away. If people dont stay on campus they loose money. Also the death happened two years ago who would really wanna talk about something so gruesome?

Dont get me wrong I think ghosts are real and true but if you've been living in harmony with the reported ghosts for three weeks then why take it to an extreme?

Also, we have a paranormal club, who "investigates" the ghost activity in the building. And it has been said that a girl was in "the shack" also called the basement (its functional, like a hangout almost with pool tables and things) and reported coming upstairs and having scratches on her back. Truth be told I have been down there to many times to count and have not had one scratch nor creepy experience. Besides the fact that it's a big open basement that echos and has it's creaks, since it's old. And I was recently told that you are unable to take pictures or video downstairs. (I guess I am a rebel cause I took a picture of my friends playing pool before knowing lol).

I dont know what to make of this information, but as long as the ghosts dont touch me or my things they can drop marbles all night long for all i care.

Peace and love, ghost and ghouls.

Oni.

Bed times and boogey men

So I'll be the first to admit it, I have a bed time. And no I was not given a bed time by my mother, teachers, school or etc. I gave myself a bed time of 10 or 11 o'clock because I know myself. If given the opportunity of staying up till 2 o'clock every morning and barely making it out of bed at 6 wouldnt be far from a thought in my mind.

But last night I was forced to do the unthinkable! I stayed up till 1 something in the morning. But it was justifiable, since I had homework that was due the next morning. And needless to say with my 4 hours and 41 minutes of sleep I was able to get a 92 on my project! (Even though my grade was good I am still reaping the consequences and am now hearing my voice echo back in my head about how I could of scored higher) But my teacher loved it and seems to be excited!!

But on a far different note.... read my other blog post to hear about my new ghost experience.

Peace and love,

A tired oni.

Death defying heights

Officially starting to feel the nerves kick in.

I bet you're wondering what I'm talking about. (Side note that is a direct quote from one of my favorite movies: matilda!!)

Well as of tomorrow I will be a model for a day!! An early rise, and a death defying walk across a bridge. Well at least for me since I'm a chicken when it comes to heights and bridges over water, or land...or well over anything! Haha

But I'll try to take some pictures of the set and the outfit that I put together for tomorrow:)

I'll keep you posted, peace and love!

Oni.

A little history of psychology.

With five clubs going on and school work virtually every night, I dont think that I am going to be able to make time for this new guy that i met.

On another note, in my high school psychology class we learned that you learn better in the same state that you learned the information in.
So for example, if you study laying down on your bed youre less likely to do well on the test because you arent going to be taking the test laying down.
Or if your eating a certain food or listening to a certain song while you study, if you eat or listen to that song while youre testing youre more likely to remember the knowledge for your test.

It's sort of like how when you hear an old song on the radio and a rush of memories come back with it. Things you forgot about long long ago.

So the moral to this long winded story is why does this girl in my class keep taking my seat!!! (And its the only one in the class with a plug next to it!!) Lol one day she'll be in her seat, then the next shes in mine, like make up your mind!!

Peace and love,

Oni.

East side shape up and boys

I feel like I'm being drowned with school work. But what am I to expect from college, but late nights spent slaving over papers and projects.

But now to get that boring topic out of the way...

I went to the east side to go to my friends brother's barber shop so I can get a shape up (hence the title). And when we got there in the heat and sun, (minus the sun screen) my friend saw a friend of hers. They said their hellos and she introduced me and needless to say I got his number.

And for all of you readers thinking "finally!!!" "There is a god!!" Etc. I'm not that excited, for multiple reasons...
1. My schedule is unrealistically busy (five clubs, part time job and college. Where would he fit in?)
2. Hes not exactly my type (I dont know if I'm texting him because I kinda want a relationship and would take anything?)
3. I would owe my boss $20 (and to a broke college student $20 could mean: "I'm starving", or "I got me five cases of ramen and will no longer starve!") ( honestly he isnt exactly worth losing 20 bucks over lol not tryna sound harsh, but.)
4. Hes definitely not bring home to meet my parents material lol.
My list could probably go on sadly.

I'll end on this note, cause I'm tired and confused. I wanna travel the world and make something of myself and he isnt exactly the type of guy I would see myself doing that with.

What should I do, go for it or stick to what ive been doing? Comment your opinion below.

Peace and love,

A confused oni.

Thirty seconds: my life in list format

Let me just take thirty seconds to quickly update you on my life as best as I can and in list format.

I am currently in my Jammies with my bonnet on. (All black woman know about them bonnets and hair wraps, can I get an Amen!) Anyway...

I have killer cramps and sky rocketing emotions.
I feel like I am sinking under the pressures of college.
I joined more clubs, and am looking for a part time job. (Printing out resumes, cover letters).
I barely have time to blog.
I am trying to launch another idea for a blog (finding photographers, and partners to help me launch and run it).
modeling shoots and finding locations (I is a model now haha, well we will see).
Having to schedule and reschedule our roommate meeting so I can tell my lazy roommate that I am not her maid!!
Making appointments, keeping and remembering them.
Keeping up with my cleaning and cooking (ramen noodles and hot sauce ain't cutting it, when I have packs of meat and veggies in my fridge).
Dealing with a confusing guy, like do you like me or not so I can keep it pushing!!

Well thats about all of my problems, now that my conscience is clear I can sleep peacefully. Morning class tomorrow wish me luck!

Peace and love,

Oni. (I is in college now) 

Am I Going To Die???

Confession #1: I CANNOT STOP EATING!!

Okay, now that I got that off my chest... (confession #2: I'm typing one handed cause I am eating a butter finger *puts head down in shame*).

Well since I finally finished stuffing my face full of chocolate and anything that remotely resembles food. I know people always say "college students starve", "all you'll eat is Ramon Noodles" blah blah blah. Well just to prove to all those soon to be college kids, and used to be college kids, I eat very well on a daily basis.

And up until this week I have been eating my required three meals a day with a few snacks in between (feeling mighty healthy if I do say so). But just this week I have been eating double plates, late night snacks, and my trips to the corner store are far to many to count!

And I know I should feel bad about all of the above, but that is not what I am ashamed of. (I can't believe I am putting this out for the world to see) *sigh* I have done the unthinkable, the unforgivable and I am scared to reap the consequences.  So here it goes...

Just a few moments before deciding to post this soon to be embarrassing blog, I had hunger like no other. Stomach growling, irritability, loss of concentration...when I remembered I had some food stashed (first sign of an addict, stashing food) at the foot of my bed. So I looked inside and gobbled down the last of my bag of chips and was still hungry. So I remembered my beef jerky that I bought a LONG time ago. And  even though it was old, I was hungry and ate it... mold and all. *puts head down in shame and cries* So me being curious as to whether or not I was going to die instantly, or deliver hell into the toilet several times for the rest of my life. I decided to google, and I found that I shall be having stomach pains for a while, so I guess I deserve the pain that I will soon receive. Here's to hoping no one can hear my stomach decomposing as I sit down for a four hour lecture! (always optimistic!!)

Well that's enough embarrassment for today. Tell me some of your embarrassing stories in the comments below.

Lesson of the day: If it has mold and is green you shouldn't eat it.

Peace and love,

Oni.

90s make a comeback

I don't know if it's cause I was born in the 90's that I am absolutely in love with the fact that it is making a comeback!! I think that since I am openly biased about my love for the 90's, this should be nothing but positivity!

Ever since my little beach trip with my mother I have seen nothing but flat tops and crop tops. And honestly I love it!! This is bringing me back to my childhood and watching all of those cool TV shows, seeing the movie stars and anyone who was anyone wearing the latest trends of the time.

 Although, I must admit that some of those 90's trends could be seen as tacky, ugly and a whole other list of words; it was the originality that I loved. And in today's society you can rarely find originality, everyone copies everyone, it's a shame. I'm not sure if maybe the trends are what changed peoples personalities, but honestly everyone was nice and got a long back then. And in today's world you see people doing crazy things for no reason, but I digress...

But even without knowing about the whole flat top and fade phase, I have joined the club and cut my hair short. And I know what you are thinking, "she just said everyone is coping everyone" "she said there's no originality"!!! Well you can just shut your whore mouths haha. Because I cut my hair because I am in college and have black people hair and its much easier to go short and natural; than nappy and unhappy.  (why am I rhyming so much???)

Well with the crop tops, mesh shirts, flat tops and high waist denim shorts coming back maybe the world will turn into a better place after all!! (I am what people would say unrealistically optimistic)

But down below are some of my favorite styles and trends from then and now:) enjoy! Ps. this will be re posted on my fashion blog, so it is not a mistake.

Peace and love,

Oni.

Three clubs, Miyoshi Anderson and fashion week!!

I had my first day of class and ended up joining three clubs and might possibly start working soon. I know its a lot to hope for but I am excited and I know that this will be good for me!

One of my many lists of clubs is the Pittsburgh fashion week and I am really excited because this opportunity could open up so many doors for me! I have a great opportunity of working with miss Miyoshi Anderson who is still currently working as a actress, spokes model, fashion model and running (her baby) Pittsburgh fashion week. And hopefully from here my clubs and experience will be able to open new doors for me.

Also, I finally got a twitter so tweet me if you like. @Aziza_Craig and hopefully sometime down the road I will be able to tell you the dos and donts of balancing all of this.

And If you have any advice please feel free to let me know!! Also, I will hopefully be updating my fashion blog more, especially since my roommate is in photography so that should be updated soon!

Peace and love,

Oni.

First college class today!

Today, I had my first morning college class! And me being the impulsive, over achiever and hater of being late person that I am was there, probably a half an hour before class starts. I think I nearly scared my teacher! haha I am not normally a morning person, but I know the best thing to do is to make a good impression (which I think I did). And to have my teachers and peers remember me because that is the easiest way to success in my field. 

Class was fun, but confusing. And I already have projects and home work and things that I wouldn't of thought of getting until some weeks later. I think I might sign up for some clubs and a part time job. I am the type of person that once I find my schedule I am set and able to do a lot at once. Although, it may be hard at first for me to get situated, I know I can do it! 

Also, another thing I have to work on is speaking up in class. That is one part that is making it hard for me to become situated. There are these two people who keep talking (and I understand that talking is a good way for feed back and showing your skill, but honestly it was during the entire class). And not to sound rude or anything of the sort, they were basically repeating the teachers questions to make them sound like their original question or idea. It honestly got me to the point of being annoyed. I completely understand that if you are confused you should ask questions and ask for help, but there comes a point where they were just asking questions to get spot light, or to seem smart. It became boring and annoying. 

For example, the teacher would say something then out of know where you would here "oh, you know I completely understand what your talking about" followed by further unnecessary explanations. or you would hear "oh, so what your saying is...and then he would repeat what she just said...then he would say "so a prime example of that would be" and repeat again what she JUST said or random nonsense. Don't get me wrong learning new knowledge and miss understanding something is one thing but doing it for attention from your teacher and interrupting the class at every turning point of the lecture is annoying and repetitive. 

Also, for my last note of annoyances of today. There is this girl who has for the past week of me first seeing her at orientation, has been staring at me for no reason at all. And she asks to sit down next to me in class, and I have absolutely no problem with that. Except every time I even looked in the corner of my eye I could see her looking over at me and staring at me. I am not sure what her problem is but, that is annoying. 

And also being that we are in college and are supposed to be adults don't you think you would come to class prepared? Well apparently not for this girl because she kept asking me to borrow paper. And I am not a mean person or anything (even though this is my only note book for five different classes, which we just so happen to have ALL the SAME classes) I gave her a sheet. And every time I would start a new page she would lean over and ask me for one. And the whole time we were on break she was bragging about how her mom is gonna bring her some more money tomorrow. Which I am hoping so because tomorrow I am not sharing my only notebook of paper with her for the next 10 weeks of classes. We are 18 years old and older you would think that you would come to class prepared and ready to go. 

Well I have to start my homework, charge my laptop and get ready for my meetings tonight! Wish me luck!!

peace and love,

Oni. 

college life day 3

Hello, hello, hello beautiful people of the Internet!

Well I just thought I'd update you on my days in college so far! Well my first day at orientation I made three new friends who I have been hanging out with a lot lately: well at least two of them because the other girl has her own apartment so we don't see her much. Their names are Collin, (my new gay sassy friend hhaha) Sierre, (my new black and sassy friend ahha) Michelle (my white sassy pieced friend haha) (side note: I don't know why I attract the sassy people but luckily they're really cool haha)

I must say that I am super happy that I was able to move into the dorms a day early because: first off, I got to pick my room first! (side note: my room was actually moved up higher and must I say that I am SO happy about that! My dorm is now on the 8th floor and has an amazing view, beautiful sized room and closet!!) I think my only real concern was fitting all my clothes into my closet!!! But luckily all my clothes fit with A LOT of room for my room mate who actually doesn't need it cause she lives close and only brought a little bit of clothes. But I still share!! :)

Also, my room is set up! And must I say that it looks gorgeous!! I finally feel (right at this exact second) like I am in college, I finally feel that grown up ness you're supposed to feel. lol (if that makes sense) blasting music, meeting new people, blogging and paying for my own things (even though most of that stuff I've been doing lol)

As for the guys here there seem to be none that are remotely attractive hahah so I am definitely going to win the bet (here comes 70 dollars hahah).

Well my roommate is sleeping and Im pretty sure my typing and singing is annoying her, so the least I can do is stop one of the annoying things! ps. did you know that Pittsburgh people have accents? you learn something new everyday! (I guess thats also why I'm paying so much money to go here as well)

bye y'all, peace and love,

Oni.